Between the Tall Trees

Let me just begin by saying how beautifully overwhelmed I was and still am by all of the love and support I have received from you in regards to my previous blog post. That post was probably one of the greatest risks I have taken in my life. And that may sound a bit dramatic, but I sincerely mean it. After having been in some sort of "imposter syndrome-ish" mode for so many years, I really felt that this was a necessary step for me to be honest with myself and with all of you. I don't ever want to encourage someone else to be their true, authentic self when I know deep down I am not doing the same (or wasn't, at least). I have kept myself hidden for a period of several months purposely in order to heal and to focus on people and things that have and continue to take precedence in my life aka my children, my study, and my career. I do not regret having had those months away from everyone and everything because I needed them, but what did start becoming a problem was wh...

So I just got back today from a trip to London with my oldest son in order to celebrate his transition from primary school to high school. The trip was great, and we made some beautiful memories. We even had a great conversation on the train ride home with this really nice Dutch family. Then reality hit. Oh yeah, I am returning back to this . I spent the better half of the evening balling my eyes out and actually wailing from the pain that's in my heart. This pain has unfortunately built a home there for many years now, as you will see below. This is me. This is the Jess who has been attempting to save face and be the savior for everyone else all of this time while losing herself to the point of breaking and never really felt safe or comfortable talking about it because she has always been afraid that she is either too much or not enough, and she really maybe just shouldn't exist or whatever....I know this is a majorly big no-no grammatically incorrect run-on sentence, and I di...

I promise that I have been meaning to write sooner than now, but life has been insanely chaotic. I guess I preface most of my entries with a similar statement, but yeah. Such is life. I guess I should start off with some pretty great news that I passed my theoretical exam for my post-bachelor's program with flying colors. With the exams both out of the way, I was able to fully focus on getting my portfolio finished and submitted. The goal was to turn it is before heading to London with my oldest, and I am thrilled (and relieved) to say that I got the job done! I worked for what felt like eternity so you can imagine how sweet that moment was when I uploaded that big ass file late the other night...and now we wait. Haha. It's a pass/fail grade, and I am pretty confident that I will be just fine. The assignments are really for your own self-reflection and growth as a coach/counsellor, and I luckily didn't have any issues with that. I mean, I typed out 90 freaking pages because...

These past few weeks have been quite chaotic, messy and beautiful all at the same time. I have been quite busy building up my practice, rounding up my last weeks of school, studying like crazy for my exams, tending to my kids and their needs, making myself available for commitments as the school year winds down, etc. In the midst of this, I would also like to tell you that I have managed to keep my house emaculate and the laundry folded and put away, but...well...yeah...no. Haha! Anyway, moving on... Last week, Saturday, June 25th, would have been my Grandma Sunshine's 92nd birthday. It was also the day of my theoretical exam for my study. The day before that was when it was announced in the US that the SCOTUS overturned Roe vs. Wade. So, for me, all kinds of emotions were at play. I am honestly saddened for my birth country, but I do know so many kick ass people there who will continue to fight the good fight so that ALL people will be loved, valued and accepted for who she/he/the...